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If you've found yourself scrolling through social media, you know, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and you've been looking at other entrepreneurs who seemingly have it all figured out, and there's a quiet voice in your head that says, I'm so far behind I'll never catch up, then you're who I want to talk to today, because I've been there too, and actually I'm still there sometimes, and I've noticed something that feeling of being behind doesn't just feel bad, it actually stops us from seeing what's valuable about where we are right now, when we're so focused on where we think we should be, we miss what we're actually learning and building in the moment.

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And honestly, that might be costing you and me more than we realize. So let's get into all of this in today's episode.

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Ready to break free from the solopreneur struggle. Join me as I peel back the layers to a thriving online business without the guru hype or the burnout. I'm going to show you the proven strategies and tools that I use so you can build a sustainable digital business without sacrificing your well being.

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Welcome to ease and impact thriving as a solopreneur. I'm your host, Frankie j and this is where we talk about the real stuff that comes up when we are building a business solo if you find these conversations helpful, really appreciate if you could follow or subscribe. It helps me know these topics are landing with you, and honestly, it keeps you motivated to keep sharing what I'm learning along the way. Today, I want to share something I've been thinking a lot about lately. This is the whole idea of feeling behind and what that's actually doing to us. And by the time I finish today, I hope that you'll have a different way of looking at where you are right now, instead of that constant worry about not being far along enough, maybe you'll start to see some value in this exact moment of your journey. I've been noticing in my own business and when talking with other solopreneurs, that the thing we think is our biggest problem not being where we want to be, might actually be teaching us something important, and when we can see it, it changes how we show up.

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So let's talk about this pressure we feel to be further along. And I've been asking myself, like, Where does this even come from? When I look back at my childhood, I don't remember waking up stressed about being behind other kids

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this, this feels like something we've learned along the way, and I think a lot of it comes from comparing our messy reality to other people's polished updates. Social media doesn't help, right? We see the highlight reel, you know, the launch announcements, the client wins, the revenue celebrations, but we don't see the three months of doubt before the launch, or the clients who didn't work out, or the months when money was tired. I've caught myself doing this too, looking at someone else's business and thinking I seem to have it all figured out. But when I actually talk to these people, turns out they're figuring it out as they go, just like the rest of us. And the question I keep coming back to is, behind what exactly? There's no official timeline for building a business. There's no rule book that says you should have X by month six or y by year two. Sure, people put out guidelines. But there's no rule book. And what about if we just think for a second those words of behind or ahead? I'm

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starting to think that these aren't even real things, real places. They're just judgments we've picked up from somewhere. It's like, if we're both hiking to the same mountain peak, you take the scenic route while I took the direct path. Are you behind, or are you just having a different experience, seeing different things, building different skills. Every detour in my business has taught me something. The client project that kind of went sideways taught me about setting better boundaries. The launch that seemingly failed taught me to validate ideas. First, the months where I barely made any money, taught me to appreciate what I have now, to live in abundance, even though my bank account didn't say that. What if where we are right now, you and me,

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regardless of where you think you should be,

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where you are right now, what if it isn't a mistake or a delay,

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what if it's exactly what we need to go through to become the person who can handle what's coming next?

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Now this isn't about positive thinking or pretending Everything's perfect. It's about considering that maybe there's value in this moment that I'm missing because I'm so focused on where I think I should be. And here's something I have noticed, that you can't really help someone with something until you've been through it yourself, at least not in a way that feels really genuine and helpful, but you can be honest with where you are and take.

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Them along the ride with you, if you like. Now, that thing you're struggling with right now, maybe it's getting consistent clients, or feeling confident in your pricing, or even just staying motivated when progress feels slow, it doesn't feel good, I know, but I wonder if it's actually preparing you to help other people with that exact thing later,

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if I think about my own journey, the times when I felt I had no idea what I was doing, trying different approaches, feeling uncertain at the time, it just felt frustrating. But now, when someone tells me they're struggling with those same things, I actually get it. I've been there, and that shared experience creates a connection that I couldn't fake, or learn from a book or researching using AI.

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Maybe you're developing something right now that you can't see yet, empathy, resilience, creativity, the ability to solve problems in unexpected ways.

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Now I'm not saying we should seek out struggle or stay stuck, but maybe we can be, I don't know, a little more curious about what we're learning while we're figuring things out. And funnily enough, there are things that you can do and learn right now

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in the position that you're in that might actually be harder to access later on. So I've been thinking about this right now. If you're smaller, you can pivot quickly. You can try something new without massive consequences. You can have real conversations with every client. You can change your mind about the direction without disappointing 1000s of people. When I had just a few clients, I could spend time really understanding what they needed, adjusting my approach for each person. Now that I work with more people, I just have to be more systematic and conservative with my time and energy to make sure I'm helping people in the way they need best.

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Both phases have their advantages, but there's something special about this earlier phase that sometimes people miss. You're probably closer to your market right now than you'll ever be again. You're hearing the actual words, understanding the real problem, seeing what works and what doesn't in real time. What if, instead of rushing through this phase, we paid attention to what it's teaching us?

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What if we could get really good at working with uncertainty, being resourceful, at building genuine relationships. I

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used to think that only the big moments mattered. You know, the launch, the hitting certain revenue goals, getting featured somewhere like everything in between was just waiting. But I'm starting to see it differently. I try to focus on that more regularly, that those big moments, they're actually pretty brief.

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Most of our time is spent in the middle, figuring things out, trying stuff, learning from what doesn't work. What if that's not the boring part we have to get through?

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What if that's actually where most of the growth happens?

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So recently, I've been playing around with creating a quiz. I've created this quiz two or three times different renditions on two different platforms. Now some might see that as a waste of time. I sat my butt in my chair for, I think, about eight hours straight getting this sorted. But instead of seeing that as something that has put me behind my schedule, I recognize that as an opportunity. I now have this knowledge in what works best through these different platforms, these different approaches, depending on where you're at in your business and what you're looking to achieve. Or to give you a more general example, if you think about learning to ride a bike, the exciting part is when you finally ride without training wheels, right?

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But all the learning, the wobbling, the falling, the getting back up, well, that's where you actually develop balance and coordination.

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The Success moment is just when that all comes together. Maybe our businesses are like that too.

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The visible successes are nice, but the real development happens in those moments when we're figuring it out. So I'm giving myself permission to find meaning in these phases, to not just wait for the next milestone. So I keep coming back to this. So I keep coming back to this idea that maybe there's no such thing as being behind. Maybe we're just each on our own path learning what we need to learn.

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Every weird turn in my journey has taught me something that I use now. The time I spent in corporate before starting my business taught me a lot about systems and processes, the side projects that didn't go anywhere, taught me about market fit, even the stuff that felt like wasted time, gave me stories to share and empathy for what others go through. I try not to think of any of this as a mistake or a delay. It was just my path. So what if, instead of asking, am I where I should be?

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We asked, What is this moment teaching me? Or how is this preparing me for what's next?

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Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't have goals or work towards things, but maybe we can hold our goals just not so tightly. Pay attention to what's happening right now and know that. And this is a quote from a song I'm loving right now. If we've still got tomorrow, we've still got time, your current chapter isn't the waiting room for your real business. This is your real business right now at this stage, and it's preparing you for things you probably can't even imagine yet for the next week, when you catch yourself thinking you should be further along. Try asking, What might this moment be preparing me for? Like I've said, I've been trying to do this myself, and it does shift something in my thinking. Instead of feeling frustrated about where I am, I'm getting more curious about what I'm learning and where this path is heading. And I'd really love to hear from you, if you're listening on a platform where you can leave a comment, then please tell me what's one thing your current situation might be teaching you. What skill are you developing that you might not have recognized before?

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As always, thank you for listening and for being on this journey with me. Remember, keep creating that impact with ease, and maybe just maybe, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai